Monday, June 7, 2010

June 7, 2010

Well, the roller coaster ride has started and I got on even though I hate heights - speed is okay, but heights and then major drops kind of unnerve me - but with this ride I have to expect that and will get on anyway. My mantra years ago used to be 'feel the fear and do it anyway' and I'm not about to stop now.

Today there was a whirlwind of activity and phone calls from all the areas of the U of M. My U of M doctor absolutely ROCKS!!! I have over the days of June 9 through 11 - a PET scan, an MRI-3 (new kind of MRI only U of M and Mayo have - should I feel special?), a CAT scan and a pelvic ultrasound. I'm tired already and I have not even left the house but I still feel a strong confidence with all this going on or perhaps the tranquilizers and antidepressants have kicked in. :-)

Then on the 15th I have a meeting with my radiologist/oncologist - a female which I think is awesome because I like female docs too! (I'm certain I will be getting the Dr. Nigro Radiology/Chemo cocktail which is fine with me from what I've read about it) and hopefully she will stage me and also tell me what the prognosis/treatment plan will be. So, that is what I have for now. I will come back in here after my meeting on the 15th. Pray that the news is positive, that the cancer has not spread or if it has, has not spread far.

According to my journal (yes, I keep journals, have done so since I was 16 although I do not write in there every day, just during traumatic times and I think this constitutes as such)...but I digress...according to my journal I have been trying to get 'diagnosed' since last August with this issue. But...because I had had the requisite colonoscopy, no one thought it was a bad thing. If your 'gut' is telling you one thing and your doctor is telling you another, be more aggressive than I was. Not everything or every symptom or diagnosis is 'by the book' and if you feel there is something wrong, push for a better diagnosis. I learned that the hard way. Now I'm taking charge of everything, have my big purple polka dot sachel filled with my notebook, notes, medical cards and printed out copies from medical journals to ask questions. I'm not one to sit back and let everything just happen but want to be actively involved...and that is exactly what I will be doing.

Don't think that I'm being this stoic strong person...I have my moments. I fall apart one minute, then I get pissed off the next and the next I'm just sitting here looking outside at the flowers thinking what the hell? But I appreciate your support and your love and your prayers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Marilyne

11 comments:

  1. Mom you are one of the strongest people I know and if anyone can defeat this you can...all my love and support, Wen

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  2. I too like female doctors...great minds????
    Love jj

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  3. Well, you would not think I was that stoic when I'm throwing pans and dishes around the house and then realize I have corning ware that doesn't break. As for female doctors, this will be one of the first for me...I kind of like the idea since she has the same parts as me, not that male doctors are not good, it will be interesting to see how the female one handles this. I used to also love to work for female bosses - an equal opportunity admin I guess. :-)

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  4. My god Marilyne I am shocked very concerned for you and also very hopeful. I hate this for you so much
    Sounds like you are getting great care with great Docs and staffs, my advise to you would be to go with your gut and instincts on Doctor choices. Every state thinks they have the best care so do not be afraid to travel for a second opinion on treatment even just for confirmation Will keep returning here hoping and praying for great news. My best wishes to you and your wonderful family but mostly to you. Lots of love and prayers Nancy

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  5. Wine wine wine..... I mean it! drink wine and more wine and just a lil' more.....wine.....Makes everything "rosy"! Until your head starts aching, your stomach starts hurling and then who cares about the Cancer thing.....Like I said before... you shoulda dumped the bastard long ago.... Men always turn into some kind of tumor that we just lug around.....lol lol Anyway, I'm glad your feeling strong and you will get through this. Your whole family RVH, BVH, MVH, and JVH and the cats will all be there physically but We in Delaware are here for you too. Just call, or write! If you need able bodies we can come out too! I love you and wish you a smooth recovery! xoxoxo

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  6. Agree with Reenie
    Wine and more wine
    Making some, will ship to you
    Love

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  7. There is an anonymous saying, “Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly.” The VHs and Ds are family now, and the Ds are flying right beside you to support you in this journey. Becky

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  8. How can I NOT feel loved with all these comments? How can I NOT feel strong? I will carry your words, thoughts and prayers with me through the diagnosis, treatment and recovery. Thank you so much. Love,

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  9. Have checked this site at least 8 times already today
    Hope you feel the love Nancy

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  10. I feel the love around me all the time...like this warm blanket of caring.

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  11. Becky - meant to add in here that your comments meant a great deal to me. I know the D women are incredibly strong, loving and compassionate women...I'm glad you are flying beside me because I know when one of my wings starts tiring, you'll be there to lift it up.

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