Well, the roller coaster ride has started and I got on even though I hate heights - speed is okay, but heights and then major drops kind of unnerve me - but with this ride I have to expect that and will get on anyway. My mantra years ago used to be 'feel the fear and do it anyway' and I'm not about to stop now.
Today there was a whirlwind of activity and phone calls from all the areas of the U of M. My U of M doctor absolutely ROCKS!!! I have over the days of June 9 through 11 - a PET scan, an MRI-3 (new kind of MRI only U of M and Mayo have - should I feel special?), a CAT scan and a pelvic ultrasound. I'm tired already and I have not even left the house but I still feel a strong confidence with all this going on or perhaps the tranquilizers and antidepressants have kicked in. :-)
Then on the 15th I have a meeting with my radiologist/oncologist - a female which I think is awesome because I like female docs too! (I'm certain I will be getting the Dr. Nigro Radiology/Chemo cocktail which is fine with me from what I've read about it) and hopefully she will stage me and also tell me what the prognosis/treatment plan will be. So, that is what I have for now. I will come back in here after my meeting on the 15th. Pray that the news is positive, that the cancer has not spread or if it has, has not spread far.
According to my journal (yes, I keep journals, have done so since I was 16 although I do not write in there every day, just during traumatic times and I think this constitutes as such)...but I digress...according to my journal I have been trying to get 'diagnosed' since last August with this issue. But...because I had had the requisite colonoscopy, no one thought it was a bad thing. If your 'gut' is telling you one thing and your doctor is telling you another, be more aggressive than I was. Not everything or every symptom or diagnosis is 'by the book' and if you feel there is something wrong, push for a better diagnosis. I learned that the hard way. Now I'm taking charge of everything, have my big purple polka dot sachel filled with my notebook, notes, medical cards and printed out copies from medical journals to ask questions. I'm not one to sit back and let everything just happen but want to be actively involved...and that is exactly what I will be doing.
Don't think that I'm being this stoic strong person...I have my moments. I fall apart one minute, then I get pissed off the next and the next I'm just sitting here looking outside at the flowers thinking what the hell? But I appreciate your support and your love and your prayers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Marilyne