Friday, August 6, 2010

August 6, 2010

Am almost ready to leave for Rad treatment number 28 - how did I get this far without losing my sanity?  Perhaps because the cumulative radiation and chemo damage did not rear their ugly heads until this last weekend.  I was warned that the end weeks would be tough.  And while I was not having fun during the treatments, I felt I was managing them quite well until this last Sunday and I hit square on, a huge brick wall.  Ouch did that hurt.  Now I am dealing with chemotherapy and radiation damage to my whole digestive system.  I was spared the mouth sores thank you God but everything else is just one big molten mess.  Constantly on pain meds to keep the pain at bay helps, but I do not like feeling so tired and sluggish.  I like moving around and being productive, having a purpose, helping others.  It feels alien to me to be on the other side of this scenario. 

I am looking forward to coming home from this rad treatment and laying down a bit downstairs.  Have not been doing that lately as it seems more comfortable being upstairs in my own bed.   Right now, Mallory is laying next to me purring away.  Hope that she will still be here when I return as she gives me comfort laying next to me as I try to cope...pets have such a wonderful way of loving you through anything. 

Again, I'm sorry this is so short and not full of the vim and vigor as some other posts.  In order for Harvey and his Spawn to be destroyed I have to go through a form of destruction myself.  A tear down so to speak so that everything can be built back up with healthy cells.  Next post I will have what I think Harvey looks like now.  Thank you so much for your kinds comments, your cards, your emails, your uplifting notes and goodies - I cherish every one of them and I cherish you for being there.  Be well, Marilyne


  1. Mar,

    I just saw your email telling me about this blog. I just wanted to let you know that Chris and I are praying for you and I will have my bible study group pray too.

    You are a beautiful person and just be what you need to be to get through this. We just want you and your family to feel loved!

    Sending you a (HUG) - Judi

  2. Marilyne,

    Rich just shared with me today about your battle with cancer and I have read your all your blog posts and I am very happy to see that your attitude in this battle is "right on" and I fully expect you to win this one!

    Having worked with you on your finance class a couple of years ago I am not at all surprised with your positive attitude, tenacity, and faith in God and your loving family and friends who are all pulling for you!

    You can count me in with the many others that are praying for a complete recovery.

    Much love and strength to you and your family as you continue to fight the "good fight".

    Gods blessings,

    Kevin Florey

  3. Mar,
    You are right. So much of the meaningful stuff in life seems to take struggle and pain to get to. Your body is paying the cost in order to get stronger, healthy cells. Take comfort in the fact that today is just about trips to rad or chemo! From day one of getting Katelyn in China, we noticed that she loved always having a little stuffed animal to hold...she now has a collection and picks out which ones will sleep with her each night. After being abandoned by family, I guess she discovered, too, how nice it was to have someone special to hold on to, so that she is never alone no matter in case the night gets scary. Glad that Mallory if filling that gap for you. Praying for you to have peace and rest today.

  4. PS - That was me up there! Signature didn't post.
    Michele VH