August 21, 2010

Nothing new to report.  This morning I was able to take a shower and not have to nap for 15 minutes afterwards...which I think was a very good sign.  Made it downstairs to have some toast but that took the wind out of me so I had to rest. This is the part I hate the most - recovery.  I want to be jumping around and doing things now that treatment is over but I have to realize this type of 'treatment' is not the same as having a general surgery.  General surgery you are sore and tired and healing yes and that takes a couple weeks to a month to feel good again.  Radiation and chemotherapy, well, one gal on the cancer website said they give us toxic chemicals that would kill another animal and the radiation lasts in our bodies for months after treatment is done...how can we expect to bounce back from that in a few weeks?  I suppose so.  Still, for someone like me who loves being active and involved in everything, it is mighty discouraging.  This is why I shared the milestone of not napping after a shower this morning.  I'm hoping that these small milestones, these tiny little advances each day will make me realize that this is the way it is and I need to be patient.  I think I will squeeze my farting hippo today and thank God that I do not have treatment next week.  Look at the positive side to all this...as there are many of those sides. 

Rich will be going back to work in the office next week.  He keeps asking me if I am okay with that.  Of course I am.  I will be fine.  He took good care of me while this was going on and he has a life and job to deal with.  I will be fine on my own.  In fact, it might even help with the healing that I am on my own for awhile.  Thank God half the food and restaurants around us have delivery.  lol.    This step just makes me feel that normalcy might be coming around the corner.  While my cancer buddies tell me that I will need to find a new 'normal' in my life as this goes on, I find old normals in things like Rich going back to work on a daily basis, even me feeling like picking up my crocheting for a few rows.  The regular "normals" and the new "normals" - ah...I so look forward to both of them. 

That is about it from me this week.  I will write again only if there is a major change or update.  Be well always, Marilyne