Wednesday, September 22, 2010

September 22, 2010

Hello Everyone - just a short update.  Went to my five week post radiology treatment and saw my rad-oncologist yesterday.  As Rich and I approached the hospital area I was stunned at the intensity of emotions that came over me and I started to cry.  I was not sure if I was crying because the hospital reminded me I indeed did have cancer, or whether I felt 'safe' back in the arms of the team and hospital group or simply fear of the appointment itself.  Once I was able to walk in the door to the radiology area I was not as emotional at all but went into 'deal with it' mode as I had so many months and weeks before that.

The regular questions were asked about symptoms, swollen legs, blah blah how are you doing blah blah.  I mentioned that I was not feeling that bad considering, symptoms mild from my cohorts so far and I was worried that maybe treatment wasn't working.  My rad oncologist (who is wonderful) decided to give me a DRE (exam) which I had not had since diagnosis and said her preliminary findings are she felt soft tissue and no lumps so she felt it was working.  Obviously without scans and biopsy I won't know for sure but for the first time since all this happened I felt a glimmer of hope and the heavy weight on my shoulder lifted a bit.  She also asked me if I was okay with not seeing them until the November scan dates because this phase of treatment, many patients feel abandoned.  Ironically I do feel that way a little bit but not totally, I suppose I feel close to my team and trust my team to know if I need them in between they will be there.  So she made the appt with me for November 8th.  My scans are the 3rd and the team will meet the morning of the 8th to discuss my case and I will find out the results probably from her that afternoon. If not her, then my colorectal surgeon on the 11th.  Either way, I will know for sure that second week in November.

Keep up your wonderful prayers as they have taken me though 7 weeks of aggressive chemotherapy and radiation and now through recovery and I hope NED status.  Thanks everyone for being there for me - love to you all.  Be well always, Marilyne


  1. ...a little hoorah...we shall REALLY hoorah hearing NED in November...then Bucas here we come!!

  2. Hi Marilyne, I know what you mean about realizing what is important. I don't believe anyone who has not had cancer can ever understand what a primer lesson on life cancer truly is.I was thankful for the cancer in so many ways. It freed me from having to prove myself in teaching. God knows what we need before we do. I was terrified when I had my second look surgery. I KNOW God is blessing you
    . Love,
    Andrea(When can I come for a visit?)

  3. Hi An -- been having many more good days than bad...usually mornings are still a bit rough on me but by lunchtime or later am doing okay and have some energy. Rich is dismayed as my feisty side is back. lol. You can visit anytime. And I understand what you mean about the 'freedom' aspect. I have also learned to appreciate so many of the simpler things in life that I ignored because I was trying so hard to fill empty spaces. Have you gotten my emails? Did I send them to the right address? Love you back, Marilyne