Anniversary...

I've had some time to reflect lately, more so than normal.  In a few short weeks it will be the one year anniversary that I had my original surgery...the surgery where harvey was found.  A few weeks ago I was having some issues with my stomach, mostly some pain and indigestion that I kept attributing to eating a coconut cream pie (yes, I was a glutton but it was home made and it was good!).  I started having other issues and called my colo-rectal surgeon (who a few months ago fell on the ice and dislocated his elbow so will be out of commission for a few more months - some angst there as I trust him and hope nothing goes wrong while he is gone). 

The surgery center's nurse called me back and we discussed the issues.  She suggested it sounded more like the liver or gall bladder acting up.  Do not want to hear liver as mets from my type of cancer go to lung and liver.  after she consults with another RN they tell me to call my regular MD.  I'm starting to feel a bit of deja vu here...so my anxiety goes up.  My Dr. checks me out and says the liver enzymes are fine when I tell him my concerns and sends me for an ultrasound.  That turns out fine - no stones - no liver issues - I'm still anxious because everything was 'fine' the last time too.  He asks if I want to go for one more scan that watches the function of the liver and gall bladder and I say yes.  I'm not about to be not aggressive about this.  We do that last Friday and I'm done by noon.  By 6 PM he calls me on the phone and says my gall bladder is only functioning at 16% and needs to come out.  So I am not in the process of trying to schedule a pre-op with my regular MD and a surgury with the same guy who did the original one a year ago.  See what I mean?  Deja vu.  I'm hoping the results of this surgery are markedly different from last year.  I want to enjoy this summer. 

I guess I simply came in here to express what I'm feeling right now, whether anyone reads it or not, because it is a nice catharsis to be able to say what is on your mind without worrying someone else or having someone else carry the burden or worse yet having someone else just not understand the issue.  There is so much more than having a 'simple' gall bladder surgery now because of the scars left from the cancer diagnosis and treatment...I found out the hard way nothing is always that simple.  So I come in here and vent and release whatever it is that is bothering me or being thankful for ... it does make a difference and help. 

So for anyone still reading this, thank you -- and hope that this blog note finds you all well.  Love, Marilyne