November 11, 2010 - The Journey Continues...

Had my colo-rectal surgeon visit today which is the culmination of post scan visits.  Was hoping to hear better news than I did but it still could have been worse. The surgeon did both manual and scope exams and felt a small mass still there, much much smaller than Harvey was to begin with which was also on the scans.  The scans he said were very good and he was happy about that.  However, there remains something in there.  He wants to see me in four weeks to do another exam and if this mass shrinks, then he will see me again and monitor it, if it continues to shrink (radiation still is working) then it will be monitoring.  If it does not shrink, then I have to have a deep biopsy under anesthesia where they can ascertain whether or not it is active or non-active cancer.  If non-active, they continue to watch it.  If active then I will have to have an APR surgery which means having bowel removed and a permanent colostomy. 

That news broke my heart as I've been feeling well, energy level up and all plumbing systems working well...some residual side effects from chemo and radiation but nothing I can't handle.  I will need to simply digest all this and put myself in another level mentally, then move forward.  Today was a tough day but not as tough as it could have been, not as tough as other people have it and not as tough as I might see in the future.  The journey continues, the fight continues.  Please keep saying prayers that the remains of what is there just withers away and is gone.  I wish I had better news.  Maybe next time.  Love to you all.  Marilyne