Just a short update...Happy Labor Day to everyone.  This Wednesday marks the three week anniversary post treatment.  I half expected with this anniversary I would be up and running and being like I normally am.  Well, that ain't happening!   I am able to take a shower now and wash my hair without being too winded.  Need to rest less in between attempting small chores.  So...I am thinking this is progress even though my patience is wearing thin on myself (and is carried on to rest of family unfortunately).  Keep praying for continued strength but most of all keep praying in November Harvey is gone.  Love to all of you.  Marilyne

September 1, 2010

Good Morning everyone -  Two weeks post treatment.  I was reminded today that it is two weeks, not three when I was lamenting as to why I did not have my energy level back.  That shocked me.  Has it only been two weeks?  The days blend together and each day, while I realize now since I have ended treatment, has gotten slowly better and better, in my mind I should be full of vim and vigor and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.  But when I will my body to do something, it just simply says "no way" and I'm forced to listen.

I had my two week oncology visit today.  They did an EKG as my heartbeat was 130.  Has been high for a few months.  They think it is fluid loss and also rad and chemo and being run down.  Its getting better as I can now take a shower without laying down for 15 minutes afterwards feeling like I did an aerobic exercise.  They took blood but do not know what the levels are.  I should know in a couple weeks when I see my radiologist for a followup.  We set up the telltale scan meetings.  Early November I'm having my MRI and PET scan that will see if Harvey is gone.  Then a follow up with my oncologist and the colo-rectal surgeon who will go over the scans and do a physical as they want to be sure he is or is not gone before proceeding to the next step.  My hope is that I come up NED...what a neat Thanksgiving and Christmas Gift that would be!  So keep praying that Harvey is toast.  I appreciate and am thankful each and every one of you is there.  Be well always, Marilyne

August 28, 2010

Hello Everyone.  It's been a little over a week since radiation treatments ended.   While I totally expected to bounce right up a few days later, I am finding recovery to be very slow and for me, annoying.   I wake up, take a shower, have to lay down to recoup from the shower.  Then I walk downstairs and make a little toast and tea and have to recoup from that.  I'm up a lot at night because of the healing of the radiation area - lots of itching and burning.  Finding the sitz baths help the most during the day but are harder to do during the night.  My cohorts on the cancer forum gave me some good suggestions but mostly alert me that this will take time.  Supposedly the recovery period goes quickly -- quickly for me is one or two days.  I think I will need to rethink this and relax and just let my body heal.  Difficult for me but maybe it is God's way of telling me I need to slow down and relax and enjoy my life a little instead of having to always be busy and running here and there.

Just a short update.  Not much to report.  I have a doctor appointment right after labor day and will update then if there is anything to update.  I'm sure, like me, you want to hear that Harvey is toast.  But that won't be for a little while yet.  Meanwhile, Be Well everyone.  Love, Marilyne

August 21, 2010

Nothing new to report.  This morning I was able to take a shower and not have to nap for 15 minutes afterwards...which I think was a very good sign.  Made it downstairs to have some toast but that took the wind out of me so I had to rest. This is the part I hate the most - recovery.  I want to be jumping around and doing things now that treatment is over but I have to realize this type of 'treatment' is not the same as having a general surgery.  General surgery you are sore and tired and healing yes and that takes a couple weeks to a month to feel good again.  Radiation and chemotherapy, well, one gal on the cancer website said they give us toxic chemicals that would kill another animal and the radiation lasts in our bodies for months after treatment is done...how can we expect to bounce back from that in a few weeks?  I suppose so.  Still, for someone like me who loves being active and involved in everything, it is mighty discouraging.  This is why I shared the milestone of not napping after a shower this morning.  I'm hoping that these small milestones, these tiny little advances each day will make me realize that this is the way it is and I need to be patient.  I think I will squeeze my farting hippo today and thank God that I do not have treatment next week.  Look at the positive side to all this...as there are many of those sides. 

Rich will be going back to work in the office next week.  He keeps asking me if I am okay with that.  Of course I am.  I will be fine.  He took good care of me while this was going on and he has a life and job to deal with.  I will be fine on my own.  In fact, it might even help with the healing that I am on my own for awhile.  Thank God half the food and restaurants around us have delivery.  lol.    This step just makes me feel that normalcy might be coming around the corner.  While my cancer buddies tell me that I will need to find a new 'normal' in my life as this goes on, I find old normals in things like Rich going back to work on a daily basis, even me feeling like picking up my crocheting for a few rows.  The regular "normals" and the new "normals" - ah...I so look forward to both of them. 

That is about it from me this week.  I will write again only if there is a major change or update.  Be well always, Marilyne

The love that surrounds me...

I do not know if I have mentioned it yet in this blog, but each day when I sit at the couch or chair in the family room I have all these wonderful pieces of love and caring around me:  cards and letters from you, a prayer blanket, flowers, angel plaques and statues, cookies, stuffed animals and bracelets.  I have prayer books that I can look at for daily inspiration and trust me I read them faithfully.  All of these wonderful pieces of love that surround me every day and are from all of you who made sure that I had pieces of you there with me throughout this journey.  What a wonderful testament to friends and family and the joy of having such tremendous support at a time when it was needed the most.  I just wanted to thank you for all of that.  It meant more than you will ever know.  Be always well, Marilyne

Andrea, I do not have your home email address and I was too emotional to call you today but will do so either at weeks end or next week but I thank you for the flowers I received today.  What a wonderful surprise.  Love you, Marilyne

August 18, 2010

Well, I had my final radiation today, met and was discharged from radiation with the rad oncologist and made a follow up appt with her for four weeks.  The oncologist I will see in a few weeks as well...all follow up. 

Radiation and chemo are done for this phase of the process.  And while a short process, an incredibly difficult one.  I am so happy that it is over.  When I left the hospital today after the last radiation, I broke down and cried.  Not that I would be leaving anyone or miss anyone but the weight of the treatment program lifted off my shoulders and I actually felt relief.  The crying was simply my way of letting it go. 

Now, it appears the way it works is I wait a few months and then have an ultrasound and a PET scan to see if Harvey or his spawn are still there.  If so, then I think they decide to do surgery to remove what is left and if they cannot then they remove pretty much part of my colon and rectum.  I may have to have a colostomy bag at that point.  That is Plan B.  Plan A is Harvey is gone and they monitor me for the next five years every three months with scans and doctor visits.  I'm praying that the cancer is gone but it was pretty high up so my chances are 50/50.  Unfortunately I will not know any of this until November or December.  This treatment is not cut and dry and once over you know right then if everything is gone.  It takes a while.  While somewhat discouraging, I still am pumped and excited that the therapy is over for now and will try to start eating right, taking vitamins, exercising, and doing all the right things to at least keep my body in other areas somewhat healthy.  I wish I had definite news for you but I won't for awhile.

Again thank you all for being there for me during the treatment portion of this roller coaster ride. I am convinced that your prayers and thoughts have taken me through this treatment and made the side effects less intense than others have had to go through.  The oncologist even said that I handled everything very well and I know that it was not just me that did that.  It was the support of my family and friends and prayers and love that got me through this.  Not sure how I managed to get into italics but it happened.  So I'm leaving it that way rather than try to fix it.  


For now, treatment is over...I will not know much more for awhile.  If anything changes, I will come in here and write more.  Meanwhile, know that I love and appreciate every one of you for being there for me during this incredible ride.  It meant a great deal to me to have your prayers and support.  Be well always, Marilyne

This is what I figure Harvey pretty much looks like now, or will after the next three rads...my sentiments about this are simply:  Go to Hell Harvey, and don't come back.

Talk to you after the next three rads are done unless something unusual happens...be well everyone, Marilyne