8/12/2010

Just wanted you all to know that I'm back from the hospital.  Chillaxin' as Justin says.  Not doing much.  Rad treatments start again on Monday to Wednesday (last three) and I'm hoping then I can relax a little bit until the CAT scan tells me if Harvey is gone or not.  I was supposed to have the last three treatments last week but a flood in the main area of the radiation/MRI area prevented that.  Soooooo, we are prolonging this torture for a few more days. 

I will write more when I know more.  Hope everyone has a great weekend.  Be well, Marilyne

August 9, 2010

This blog post is actually being written while I am in the hospital through the wonders of technology – we hope the ‘operator’ of the technology is able to do his part.  He will be copying/pasting (or attempting to) put this update in for me.  Hopefully it works.  He wanted me to embellish the blog a bit and put in that I have now become a lab rat and case study for the U of M med students on how to rid someone of the runs.  First med student that figures this one out gets a gift card to Popeye’s…lol    

Well, since I do not have my blog to see what I posted last on it, the short version of what has transpired since they removed the last round of chemo is I spiraled downhill from there.  Frequent bathrooms runs (and I mean frequent, like every 15 minutes) left me totally dehydrated.  I was being infused every other day while gong to the hospital for rad treatments.  By Friday I knew I was down to four treatments even if I was feeling miserable. 

 The oncologist scheduled me for a rad treatment on Monday followed by saline infusion to keep up the fluids so I would be able to get through the week.  Well, Friday evening I started running a fever…100.4 is the cut off to when I have to call in and alert the hospital.  It was 101.6 when I told Rich and by the time he got me to the hospital (after we called and they said come to the emergency room) it was 102.6.  I was immediately put on IV antibiotics and fluids, had blood drawn and put in a room of my own after a few hours.   

Since then I’ve been blood tested no less than 16 times for various bacteria which could be causing the fever…there are lesions from the radiation that were swabbed and sent in for analysis and anything else on my body they could physically send in, they did.  So far everything is inconclusive…they all agree that this feeling like road kill that I feel right now is the direct result of the chemo and radiation and they are trying to figure out how to, at a minimum, keep it from running rampant.  I guess in order to kill Harvey and his insufferable spawn they have to kill healthy cells, which include cells in the digestive tract. 

For all of you who have ever gone to Mexico and experienced the revenge of Montezuma, it is because some bacteria got into your digestive tract and your system was having trouble fighting off.  Well, my system has no immunities right now and cannot fight off anything so rather than bother, it just sits back and lets all hell break loose.  So…the game plan right now is they are giving me (ready for this one?) OPIUM!!  Yes, three times a day I have to drink a small amount of opium.  I keep waiting for someone to bring in a water bong and a couple of hippies to walk in and join me.  So far, it appears to be working.  By that I mean my bathroom visits are now every ½ hour rather than every 15 minutes and at one point I made it to an hour.  Progress!

Enough toilet banter – each day gets a little bit better than the day before but in tiny increments.  For someone who wants things changed yesterday, this is very discouraging for me but I keep thinking okay, two steps forward, one back is still getting me ahead each time.  Did not have radiation treatment today as I guess the group met and decided I needed one more day of rest.  I believe they will have me back on radiation tomorrow but since I will already be at the hospital should I have ‘issues’ everything is here.  

This place is absolutely amazing and run like a well oiled machine.  I intend on writing a long letter to someone here expressing my gratitude in having such a wonderful experience through such a horrible ordeal.   Once I get home (ETA know is unknown but I am assuming this weekend) I will write a longer blog.  Thanks everyone once again for being there, for being my support, for praying, for all the things you do to perk up my day and push me forward.  I could not have done this without the support of my husband, sons, daughter-in-law and my many, many friends.  Thank you.  Be well, Marilyne.

August 6, 2010

Am almost ready to leave for Rad treatment number 28 - how did I get this far without losing my sanity?  Perhaps because the cumulative radiation and chemo damage did not rear their ugly heads until this last weekend.  I was warned that the end weeks would be tough.  And while I was not having fun during the treatments, I felt I was managing them quite well until this last Sunday and I hit square on, a huge brick wall.  Ouch did that hurt.  Now I am dealing with chemotherapy and radiation damage to my whole digestive system.  I was spared the mouth sores thank you God but everything else is just one big molten mess.  Constantly on pain meds to keep the pain at bay helps, but I do not like feeling so tired and sluggish.  I like moving around and being productive, having a purpose, helping others.  It feels alien to me to be on the other side of this scenario. 

I am looking forward to coming home from this rad treatment and laying down a bit downstairs.  Have not been doing that lately as it seems more comfortable being upstairs in my own bed.   Right now, Mallory is laying next to me purring away.  Hope that she will still be here when I return as she gives me comfort laying next to me as I try to cope...pets have such a wonderful way of loving you through anything. 

Again, I'm sorry this is so short and not full of the vim and vigor as some other posts.  In order for Harvey and his Spawn to be destroyed I have to go through a form of destruction myself.  A tear down so to speak so that everything can be built back up with healthy cells.  Next post I will have what I think Harvey looks like now.  Thank you so much for your kinds comments, your cards, your emails, your uplifting notes and goodies - I cherish every one of them and I cherish you for being there.  Be well, Marilyne

August 4, 2010

Tomorrow would have been my dad's 103rd birthday had he lived.  He was 96 when he died.  Tomorrow is also the day Rich and I met 33 years ago. After tomorrow all I have left is 5 more rad treatments.  How odd that these memories intertwine with one another around the same day that I have fond memories. 


Am not writing as much in here because the treatment is wearing heavily on me.  I have 6 rad treatments left after today and I literally have to crawl out of bed to shower and get dressed and drag my sorry butt to the car.  All I want to do is have the rad treatment and come home to curl in a ball with my pain and exhaustion and just sleep.  Everyone said this would be the worst part and they were not whistling dixie.  It truly is.  But in my heart I know that Harvey is suffering for it and I will do anything to get rid of him.  Keep praying please as these prayers and thoughts are what get me going each day to finish the treatment out.  I love you all.  Be well, Marilyne

July 31, 2010

End of Week 5 and beginning week 6.   Only 9 more radiation treatments.  Today, the second chemo pack comes off after 96 hours of constant chemo.  For those of you who have been praying for me to get through this therapy, know that those prayers have been answered.  Both chemo sessions have been very uneventful and compared to my cohorts who have been very sick and even hospitalized, I consider myself quite blessed and Thank God for giving me this blessing and Thank God for all of you who have been praying for me, sending me little tokens of caring and words of encouragement.  Not much to report as I'm just extremely tired and do a little bit at a time and then take a nap.  Very sad for someone like me who likes to move at Mock 5 all the time.  I am assured by my cohorts that my energy level will slowly start to return when the therapy is over.  I so look forward to that.  So, for now, this will be a short blog.  Just wanted everyone to know the status and will be in here again in a few days.  Be well, Marilyne

July 27, 2010 Week 5 - Chemo cocktail

Good Afternoon...just returned from an 8 hour stint at the hospital.   We had to be here at 8 AM this morning so I could have my PICC line put in, then be at radiation at 10 AM, then meet with my oncologist at 11:00 AM.  Unfortunately, the Chemo pack infusion was not until 2 PM so Rich and I walked to the cafeteria and had lunch there, then I fell asleep for an hour in the hospital waiting area and Rich worked the whole time.  Thank God for computers and technology and cell phones.  I don't know how I would have done this without him and without his wonderful company allowing this to be done.

I admit I was very anxious about today.  Receiving chemo the first time I had a very uneventful session.  I've read on my cancer forums of a few people having to go to the hospital with low counts, mouth sores, violent illness and I feel like I did not have anything at all near that (guiltily so).

My doctors assure me that Harvey is getting his own butt kicked and not worry.  This chemo session they gave me my usual 72 hour nausea meds, my ativan, some steroids - something new to jump start everything) and the mito (tumor antibiodic that is very toxic) and then finally gave me my 96 hour baby bottle to carry with me for the next four days).  Then it will be removed with the picc line on Friday or Saturday.  Woo hoo.  What I have then is one full week and four days left of radiation and I'm done.  So far I feel okay.  I cannot complain compared to others going through this.  Your prayers are working if you are asking me for a seamless treatment.  God is obviously listening.  And I thank you for that and I thank Him for that as well.

Know that I appreciate your listening to this, sending me wonderful notes and emails, cards, small goodies that I carry with me to radiation or treatment - my chemo bag is so heavy Rich has to carry it now...these tokens of caring and love are what keep me pushing forward.  I have learned a valuable lesson...when someone is ill, regardless of the illness, something as small as a card or call or note means the world.  I will forever make sure that I continue this with others and pay it forward. 

For tonite, I will end this blog wishing everyone a wonderful evening and a blessed life.  Be well, Marilyne

P.S.  Forgot to add a funny story that happened last night to me.  When I was ready for bed, I had to find a place for my chemo pack which is attached to the picc line in my arm by a long tube.  It dispenses chemo from a 'baby bottle' to my line to my heart based on my heartbeat 24/7 for 4 days.  Anyway, did not want it laying next to me on the bed for fear I'd roll over it or pull out the line so I decided to attach the fanny pack to the headboard and it became a perfect stand with which I could sleep and the chemo was being dispensed from a higher area plus I would not have to worry about rolling over on it.  Well, I do not sleep well due to pain and irritation and just anxiety I guess and by 3 am had to go to the potty.  I jump out of bed (the bathroom is right across from my side of the bed) and get pulled back quite quickly by the bungee cord tube from my chemo pack.  I had forgotten it was attached to the bed post.  So here I am sitting on the floor on my backside laughing by myself at the absurdity of it all.  Unhooked the pack and went about my business. Thank God this pack will only be with me until Friday or I might end up with a concussion or a broken bone somewhere in there.  lol.   Thought you would get a kick out of that.  Be well, Marilyne

July 21, 2010 Latest Picture of Harvey

Harvey is not feeling very well.  He's had four weeks of chemo and radiation treatments and he's starting to show his slow demise...my only comment to this?   DIE HARVEY DIE!!!!